Finding Jesus in Closed Adoption
Updated: Jan 19, 2022
Hope Happens!
Pregnant Teenager. Planned Abortion. Chose Adoption. Celebrity Parents. No Contact Allowed. Salvation. Connection. Healing.
"She told me my daughter is looking for me. I lost it."
– Sabrina Barnes
At 17-years-old, Sabrina Barnes found herself pregnant, still in school, and not with the father of the child. Sabrina felt alone and unsure what to do. Sabrina made several appointments to get an abortion, but each time was unable to due to car trouble, no ride, or not having the funds for it. Sabrina knew of God but was not a believer and felt the ‘universe’ was trying to tell her something.
Sabrina kept the pregnancy a secret for as long as she could, but eventually her parents found out. At 7 ½ months pregnant, Sabrina wanted to keep and care for her baby. But how? She began researching government assistance programs that would help. However, one day while in a government healthcare waiting room, Sabrina watched a roach crawl across the floor and thought, “She deserves better.”
Sabrina’s mom had been encouraging her to place the baby up for adoption. Sabrina decided this was the best decision for her baby to have the care she needed. Sabrina read through adoption profiles to learn more about the potential families and found one that would be her daughter’s family. The profile said the baby would be raised knowing she was adopted, in a Christian home, but it was a celebrity couple, so there could be no contact between Sabrina and this family. Sabrina would not be told the names of the people adopting her child.
It was incredibly difficult for Sabrina to give birth and let her baby go, but she felt it was the right decision. Sabrina was given 3 days to change her mind. During these 3 days she received photos of her daughter, but Sabrina followed through with adoption.
Some time, after this, Sabrina’s mother, Kathy, became sick with cancer. Sabrina became the main caregiver for her mother. During this time, Kathy would talk with Sabrina about Jesus. Kathy was patient in discussing Jesus and the need for a Savior. Kathy explained Heaven and Hell are real. As Kathy became sicker, with strokes, brain damage, and loss of blood, she was still able to communicate with the family through writing – even though her words came out backwards or upside down – it was a miracle to still have the ability to communicate how much she loved them. Sabrina began to think, “Maybe there is a God. Maybe there is a God that can hear our prayers. That little mustard seed got bigger and bigger.”
When Kathy passed away, Sabrina moved back to Arizona. Sabrina says, “I had a God-shaped hole” and filled it with the wrong things. Sabrina had a son with a man named Erik. Sabrina had a job at a call center and a co-worker that sat in front of her happened to be a pastor. Over time Sabrina talked with this pastor about her life. Sabrina said, “I would ask him ‘Do you think God knows what happened to my daughter’” and the pastor said, “God is doing something with that.” Sabrina explained that she had went to several different churches, trying out several different religions because she was searching. This pastor told Sabrina she could give her heart to God right then and there, in the middle of work, between phone calls; she did not have to wait and continue searching. He led Sabrina to the Lord through prayer right then. Sabrina gave her life to the Lord and began going to church. Sabrina and her church began praying for her son’s father, Erik. And through that prayer, God answered! Erik then began to feel what Sabrina used to feel – a God-sized hole that needed to be filled. A God-sized miracle happened, and Erik also gave his life to the Lord and Sabrina and Erik married.
The miracles continue! Throughout the years, Sabrina had been searching on websites to see if her daughter happened to be looking for her. Sabrina often prayed to God to please let her daughter feel loved and know how much she is loved. Sabrina gave the situation to God. In February 2020, while driving home from work on the I-10, stopped in traffic, she received a phone call from a woman with State of Arizona. Sabrina said, “She told me my daughter was looking for me, I lost it. I cried and cried.”
“The next day I got to talk to my daughter for the first time. Her name is Isabella.” Isabella had been adopted by Kirk and Chelsea Cameron. Sabrina said “so much weight was lifted off” knowing Isabella had been raised by loving, Christian parents.
“She told me she wasn’t mad at me. She thanked me for choosing life. It was just amazing. It’s the way God was there; God answered a prayer years before I prayed it.”
Sabrina wants you to know:
“Anybody who’s wondering if there’s hope – there’s hope even when you don’t realize there’s hope. There’s Jesus in all these little details and you don’t necessarily connect the dots until afterwards. If you’re wondering if there is a God out there, there is. I was against God and He was still there for me. There’s no words to describe how thankful I am.”
Verse that helped Sabrina:
Psalm 46:10
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
Check out 'Hello, Hope City' HopeCast to see more from Sabrina and Isabella here: Hello, Hope City! Episode #20 "Thank You For Choosing Life" w/ Sabrina Barnes & Isabella Moore - YouTube
Check out Sabrina's Hope video to hear more of her story here:
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